I hope I can put into words my feelings this past week. I’ve pondered them a lot, and I’m not sure there are words to express it. But here’s an attempt!
This year has been such a treat to watch our daughters be pregnant and bring life into this world. First Mary Ann last August.......who scared the hebee jeebee’s out of me when little Dayton didn’t breathe for 4 minutes after birth. Mary Ann & I have been spiritually connected since our being womb-mates together. And when I sensed trouble while she was in labor, I went to the hospital to check in. It became pretty obvious to me, that the cord was wrapped around the babies neck because of the way his heart beat plummeted each time she had a contraction. But Mary Ann was determined to deliver this little guy vaginally and it was hard for me to leave the hospital when she asked me to, because she and Ryan wanted this experience to be just theirs. When she called the next morning.........drained & relieved that the nurses & doctors had gotten her little guy back to life......I exploded into tears. My prayers and my fears were comfortably tanked in my heart and just erupted after her “report” call.
Then the miracle of this marvelous woman unfolded as I watched her focus her total attention on being the most attentive and loving mother on earth. As usual, she had to learn to lay down her own life and routine to do......and that wasn’t always easy......but she did it. And I was glad she lived right across the street so I could witness her motherhood develop right before my eyes during her regular visits.
Then Julie Kaye, revealed she was pregnant. I ate her announcement in a dinner roll she had prepared for a family dinner. What a mother! But Julie Kaye is my morning work out & gym partner.....and she hid it very well during her first 3 months. She has worked hard moving into her new home and creating a “heavenly” environment for her little princess. And Travis is such a supportive husband. Julie Kaye’s needs are his first priority and she knows it! He works so hard to provide for her and has created such a foundation of security long before hitting his 25 year of life.(He’s really pretty amazing!)
Isabelle was born in November, and it’s such a rejoicing phone call when David calls to invite me to the births of his children. Becca is so sweet to let me sharing in their experiences and it’s a humbling feeling to see your son explode with excitement when he has “another little girl.” Followed by, “Oh my gosh! I’m going to have 3 weddings.......I’d better start saving now!” Isabelle had some complications and had to be whisked away to the nursery for attention. But the thing I love the most, is the tender sweet love Becca offers each of her children. Protective like a mother hen, yet human enough to realize that she lays down more than most to be a good mother. It’s different with a daughter in law.......because she leans heavily toward her mother. The children expose the “real” feelings with the expression in their voices and faces when you visit their home. And Becca’s sister Michelle lives in their basement and is always upstairs and so my love comes way down the priority line. Becca treats me with genuine care and love. It’s just a different feeling.
February 17, 2009 at 3:45 a.m. I got the call that Julie Kaye’s water had broken and she was in the hospital! My heart jumped with joy.......but it took a great leap when she asked if I wanted to come and be apart of her experience. Man, I was out of bed, left Tim a note, and sitting in the parking lot of the hospital by 4:15.
Travis was really sick. He couldn’t hold anything down & didn’t feel well at all. He tried eating a cracker, or a drink of sprite to settle his stomach, but it didn’t help. Julie was dilated to 6 and 7% effaced. So I thought it was just a couple of hours until the baby would come, but the nurses kept coming in and having her change sides to lay on, and her labor would stop. She drank 3 large containers of raspberry cranberry juice (which was an absolute no-no in my day of delivery) and I was surprised to see her keep every ounce of it down. At 7:30, Julie called Mary Ann to see if she could bring her video recorder over. (Julie thought I had one.) Mary Ann loaded up Dayton and came right over. When I went down to pick it up, Mary Ann asked if she could come up to say “Hi.” Julie Kaye, said, “Sure!” After she arrived, Julie Kaye asked her if she wanted to stay for the delivery. Now that was a “No brainer!” Mary Ann made sure it was "really okay for her to stay" then she & Dayton settled in for the big event. Dayton took care of Uncle Travis.
At 8:30 they checked her, and she was +2, 100% effaced and her cervic was all the way thinned. Travis saw his Dad’s truck in the parking lot and called to make sure. It was them, and they were just waiting for a call. Travis invited them to come up. It was a party......but Travis still felt horrible. Travis and little Dayton hung out on the couch together. (Dayton is the most patient baby around.....if not, Mary Ann couldn’t have stayed for this special event.) Vicki suggested Howard giving Travis a blessing. With no hesitation, Howard was on his feet and to the side of his beloved son. This was a great gift for Travis and he wept. Soon the nurse came in and told us that at 10, we would start pushing! FINALLY.....I thought!
With Mary Ann holding one leg and me holding the other, Julie started the pushing process. She only pushed two sets of 2-10 second pushes when they told her to stop and they rushed for the doctor. Even I could see the baby’s crown.....and she had lots of curley black hair! The doctor was there in 5 minutes. Mary Ann & I were commanded to take pictures and have the nurses helped Julie Kaye with her knees. Once again it was only two sets of 2-10's and pop......the baby was here! “Okay, what’s her name?” I asked. Julie Kaye replied, “Let the doctor clean me up and we’ll go get Vicki and Howard and tell everyone at the same time.” I was still clueless and didn’t even think anything when Julie Kaye told Mary Ann she was the only one to use her camera.
Soon Vicki and Howard came in the room and had their turn seeing and holding the baby. Travis went over and picked up a plastic grocery bag. Julie Kaye said, “Give it to Mom, Travis and let’s see how long it takes her to unscramble the letters and find the name.” I was still naive to the surprise that awaited me. I stood at the bottom of the bed admiring the beauty of the letters in the bag. Then I started pulling them out one by one: S–Y–D (at that point I could see the remainder of the letters in the bag and I started to tear up) N–E–E. Even writing this moment out, I well up into tears. I sobbed. Then they handed me the baby......Little Sydnee Sage Gardner my name sake. I couldn’t help think of my mother who just died just one year ago tomorrow (February 18, 2008) and remember her seeing my name spelled in a newspaper article and liking it. Now not only was her daughter named Sydnee, but her great grand-daughter.
I’ve had other children named after me. First Sydnee Heaton when I was in the hospital with my appendix and her mother, Caroline, had the best of times together. Then Sydnee Schow of Lehi, because they appreciated who and what I was to their daughters. Mindy Francis Young has always told me that she wanted to name her daughter Sydnee.....and I’ve always loved that. But to have one of your children love you enough......with all your weaknesses and frailties and consider putting your name with the love & sacrifices they have already made to prepare for their coming.......well theirs just not words to express it. Not to mention.....the first name which will be repeated millions of times in her life time. And to have a son-in-law respect you enough to agree with my daughter to call & wear your mortal label. It was a greatly treasured gift from both Travis & Julie Kaye. And there I was.....by Julie Kaye’s side witnessing her newly born daughter come into this world.
All of our children have significance to their names
T. Scott(Timothy Scott) after his Dad-Timothy and Uncle Scott McClellan
Alan Craig.....Alan because we loved the name and Craig after Craig Tassainer
David Thomas.....David --Tim’s middle name and Thomas after my Dad (not to mention I have always loved the name David and wanted a Davy Crockett)
Aaron Jacob......our temple name....we were sitting in the Provo Temple, I opened the Book of Mormon and saw the name Aaron and it fit with my mothers maiden name Jacob
Julie Kaye is named after Tim’s mother’s middle name Juliette and my Grandmother Kate We just removed both the “t’s”
Mary Ann after my mother and both paternal & maternal great grandmothers......but more because it was the name that I loved and called myself for years as a child
And of course.....Shauna Lynn.......being named after Shauna Harker and Linda Christensen......my two life long friends who kept me alive when Shauna Lynn was in embro.
You give children names that have significant meaning to you. With little Sydnee Sage in my arms I could help but reflect as Julie Kaye’s life flooded through my mind. My little treasure and gift to my father who had waited almost 17 years between granddaughters
(16 straight grandsons in between Mary Charis and Julie Kaye.) And Julie Kaye was the epitome of femininity from the moment she came to this world. But she has been my little main stay.....my primary support in creating courage & joy in our home. She was the perfect older sister to her two younger sisters......and mothered them as her own. Especially when I had to go to work. She was so deeply conscientious the girls needs and totally aware of my deep pain & hurt about leaving my home & children to earn money.
She has been Mary Ann’s model for righteousness & making good decisions. Throughout her life time, Julie has taught me how to be a lady, how to dress, and has been my friend. To even grasp the very thought that Julie Kaye’s love for me is so deep that she would name her first born after me.....is by far the deepest acknowledgment. After spelling out my name on the end of her delivery bed, I looked up to see Julie Kaye crying right along with me. Thanks to Angie Joy, she & Julie Kaye cut magazines up to decorate each individual letter beautifully and delicately so to be set on the shelf above Sydnee’s crib. (Sydnee’s room has become my favorite room since Julie Kaye decorated it. It is so unique in design and alive with Julie Kaye’s artist abilities.)
As you can see, a hundred feelings have serge through me, since that moment at 11:00 a.m. on February 17th. I am feeling so much honor, so much rejoicing .....yet at the same time so much responsibility to keep “good works & integrity” alive in me. I cried each time I called my dearest friends....each cried with me as I rehearse the mornings events. Each time I wrote my name on a credit receipt,I felt a serge of gratitude go through me. I had to fight off my tears of joy at the register. I can’t describe the feelings I’m having. The stories that will follow the name Sydnee Sage will hear. I know Julie Kaye loves me.......I hope she listens to her mothers stories. Thoughts came of my own grandmothers.....how I felt so detached and less valued from my Grandma Price and how I felt so beloved and respected by my Grandma Jacobs. “What was the difference?” I asked myself........how can I make sure that all of my grandchildren feel accepted, secure and that kind of binding love from me.
I remember the picture collage of my Dad that I made and gave to each member of his posterity when their was a battle of a single picture. On it I wrote the scripture from Helaman, chapter 5 verse 6: “Behold, I have given unto you the names of our parents.....This I have done that when you remember your name ye may remember them; and when ye remember them ye may remember their works; and when ye remember their works ye may know how that it is said....they were good.” I hope that always how Sydnee Sage feels about me.
Travis and Ryan, my two wonderful & willing son-in-laws gave me some of their most precious time to "Make my Zipline dream HAPPEN!" They are both creators and so flexible to go up and down ladders.....fly through the air on the trampoline.....up and down....up and down until the joy of all creation was complete. Ryan gave it the pilot run to see if the cherry tree branch would hold. Soon the neighbors were over, the baby seat put on, and life and laughter was the filling the air. My total joy was watching the children delight in having fun in our back yard. Even Grandpa jumped in and trimmed back the apple tree so that every Zip-run was safe for all. I don't know why these kinds of things give me so much satisfaction and joy......but they do & I love it.
I'll probably never ride the thing, but seeing Candice running along beside her giggling 1 year old Cooper, or little Cory from next door break out giggling when you have to work hard to get this kid to smile ........well......it's just heaven to me.
Mary Ann knows Ryan well enough that it was no surprise to see 6 month old Dayton tucked into the Zipline seat with his blanket ready to take a maiden voyage. Oh what laughter and fun we had Saturday afternoon! Thank you SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much Travis & Ryan for making this ole Grandma so happy. I was as excited as a child waiting for Christmas morning. And this was the best one ever! 
It's easy to snap off the little baby seat and snap on the Cyclone seat that Ryan is holding for the older kids. They just get on the balcony of the Shabin and jump on the seat to fly across the backyard. To create the fullness of joy we just throw in a little tea party with hot chocolate & PB & J's, a big high flying push in the tire swing and bat a few rounds on the hanging base ball and it's a great party at Grandma & Grandpa Crockett's house. You know, we as Grandparents never like to hear our grandchildren cry......but there's a certain satisfaction that comes when they cry because they don't want to go home!
.JPG)
